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Tag: communication

What is Acknowledgment and why is it soooo important to use it?

Do you know how to acknowledge someone? Do you know why it’s so important to learn this valuable skill?

In simple terms acknowledgement validates who you are. That’s really BIG so I invite you to sit with that thought for a moment….Validation implies that you are a valuable part of someone’s life, family and community.

I was recently talking to a good friend of mine and during our conversation the word acknowledgement came up. She told me she had no problem acknowledging her friends or family, but struggled with acknowledging her husband. We talked a little bit about it and I explained to her that one of the reasons this may be difficult is that with spouses we come to expect so much more from them; almost too much, so they often seem lacking in our eyes. Hence the holding back of acknowledgment. The irony of course is that the more you acknowledge your partner the more they WANT to do for you. So a lack of acknowledgement simply leads to more lack – period.

Past resentments can also lead to withholding acknowledgment, consciously or unconsciously. Resentments can keep you from having what you truly want; usually a reciprocal and loving relationship. Resentments can run deep and most people don’t have the skills to get to the heart of the issue and release it. But that’s another topic.

Spousal type relationships are complicated. They are the deepest form of relationship one can have on a non-familial level. Your spouse or partner sees you in every kind of conceivably vulnerable situation; or at least that is the hope in a loving and healthy relationship. What’s more, they become a very clever and clear mirror of every part of who you are and it’s not just the standard mirror it’s the magnified version…ughh! Yes, they reflect back to you all kinds of deeply rooted behaviors as well as the superficial idiosyncratic behavior. There is a presupposition in NLP (which stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming, a form of quick behavior change technology) which in essence says: the response you get is a direct result of the communication you express. That oughta make you stop and think. Communication is CRITICAL (again other topic) and acknowledgment is part of communication. So think of acknowledgment as positive reinforcement. When you see your spouse do or say something that you may often take for granted, acknowledge it.

One of my favorite movies, takes this concept a bit deeper. In Avatar the indigenous people have a phrase; they say: “I see you.” It is the deepest form of acknowledgement possible because it acknowledges your essence at your very core. It is a heart-to-heart connection. As humans, being acknowledged is a very basic human need because remember it validates your value.

Acknowledgement can take some skill. It’s not exactly a compliment, although it can sound and feel like one. Remember you are simply reflecting back a positive and valuable observation. It is a sign of recognition. Here are a few examples:

  1. I can see that you are are doing your best and I want you to know that I noticed this.
  2. I really see the effort you are making and I truly appreciate it.
  3. I get that this was a challenge for you and I recognize the hard work you put in.
  4. I hear that you are struggling and I want you to know that I can just listen if that would be helpful.

Try them out and let me know how it goes.

Action or Stillness: Which cycle should you be in right now?

Sometimes as I go through the days, I’ll notice a particular pattern making itself known. As I pay attention to this I allow it to guide my direction for the day or week ahead. I like doing this because it gives me time to pause and be introspective; which is really what the next few weeks are for cyclically.

On July 14th planet Mercury went “retrograde” which happens 3 times per year and last about 17 days. Not that I’m terribly knowledgeable about astrology, but I do know when Mercury goes retrograde; I calendar it so I’ll be prepared. There are times I’m particularly sensitive to it and you may be too only you didn’t know why.

Mercury most notably influences our communication. If you’ve noticed your computer or printer doing odd things or your phone not working properly or vice verse, it is likely influenced by Mercury’s retrograde appearance. In simple terms retrograde means reverse or backward. So when Mercury goes retrograde it appears to be moving backward (it’s not really) but this is why communication can go wonky – feel backward. Additionally, we just had one of the biggest solar flare disruptions to our planet in many years. So, there is lots of cosmic activity.

It’s important to realize and remember that we humans transition through many different seasons or cycles just like Mother Nature. We are clear what to do during each of Earth’s quarterly seasons and yet I think we are sometimes stumped when we have to “deal” or “handle” our own cycles or are even surprised to realize we have them. Mercury retrograde is one of the cosmic reminders for us to pay attention to this quietly internal cycle.

Generally this means it is a good time to go within oneself and be introspective. Sit quietly with yourself and notice the things you’ve been avoiding and begin to work through them. I know this is easier said than done, but when I receive this message repeatedly I heed it. This is a time to work on those internal issues that you’ve been pushing to the back in favor of more prosperous pursuits.

Spend a little less time on sales, systems and logistics and a little more on relaxing and relating to nature, your animals and Mother Earth. Have more patience remembering that communication with others can feel more difficult. Our bodies play a tune we are sometimes unfamiliar with which is why learning to listen to your body’s needs is so important. We are not machines, at least not in the traditional sense. Give yourself time to be human before you rev up your engine again. It will happen all too soon. Taking charge of your life is quite often about listening to and respecting your inner cycles and wisdom.

Blessings n-joy,
Julie

Action or Stillness: Which cycle should you be in right now?

Sometimes as I go through the days, I’ll notice a particular pattern making itself known. As I pay attention to this I allow it to guide my direction for the day or week ahead. I like doing this because it gives me time to pause and be introspective; which is really what the next few weeks are for cyclically.

On July 14th planet Mercury went “retrograde” which happens 3 times per year and last about 17 days. Not that I’m terribly knowledgeable about astrology, but I do know when Mercury goes retrograde; I calendar it so I’ll be prepared. There are times I’m particularly sensitive to it and you may be too only you didn’t know why.

Mercury most notably influences our communication. If you’ve noticed your computer or printer doing odd things or your phone not working properly or vice verse, it is likely influenced by Mercury’s retrograde appearance. In simple terms retrograde means reverse or backward. So when Mercury goes retrograde it appears to be moving backward (it’s not really) but this is why communication can go wonky – feel backward. Additionally, we just had one of the biggest solar flare disruptions to our planet in many years. So, there is lots of cosmic activity.

It’s important to realize and remember that we humans transition through many different seasons or cycles just like Mother Nature. We are clear what to do during each of Earth’s quarterly seasons and yet I think we are sometimes stumped when we have to “deal” or “handle” our own cycles or are even surprised to realize we have them. Mercury retrograde is one of the cosmic reminders for us to pay attention to this quietly internal cycle.

Generally this means it is a good time to go within oneself and be introspective. Sit quietly with yourself and notice the things you’ve been avoiding and begin to work through them. I know this is easier said than done, but when I receive this message repeatedly I heed it. This is a time to work on those internal issues that you’ve been pushing to the back in favor of more prosperous pursuits.

Spend a little less time on sales, systems and logistics and a little more on relaxing and relating to nature, your animals and Mother Earth. Have more patience remembering that communication with others can feel more difficult. Our bodies play a tune we are sometimes unfamiliar with which is why learning to listen to your body’s needs is so important. We are not machines, at least not in the traditional sense. Give yourself time to be human before you rev up your engine again. It will happen all too soon. Taking charge of your life is quite often about listening to and respecting your inner cycles and wisdom.

Blessings n-joy,
Julie

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