A debut book about learning to feel good about saying no.

“Just Say No” became a catchphrase in the 1980s, when first lady Nancy Reagan used it to promote her anti-drug campaign. Hawkins, a professional empowerment and confidence coach, takes the principle to a higher level and applies it to life in general, and she packs a lot of useful, understandable self-help tools into fewer than 200 pages. Her “TAILOR System” aims to assuage feelings of guilt that one may have when one doesn’t say yes to someone else’s request. TAILOR is an apt acronym for her six-step system because she invites readers to implement it in a personalized way. The goal of her method is to establish and enforce personal boundaries, whether they’re physical or emotional. The book shows how to do so in nine categories: “Career/Job,” “Family/Friends,” “Significant Other/Romance,” “Fun/Recreation,” “Finances,” “Health,” “Personal Growth,” “Spirituality,” and “Physical Environment (such as home or office).” Hawkins offers specific situations that readers will find relatable; for instance, who hasn’t felt at least slightly guilty after walking past a Girl Scout cookie-sales table without buying a box? The author acknowledges that cookies are her own “trigger”—which represents the first letter of the TAILOR method. She smoothly unpacks the rest of the acronym over the course of the book; L for instance, stands for “language” that one may use to effectively communicate a boundary line, and O stands for the “outcome” that one wants. Although the letters spell out a complete system, each of the steps can easily be applied independently as well. Hawkins also sets out exercises and games that readers may use to identify triggers or patterns that may be holding them back. Along the way, the author clearly underscores that it takes focus to use the system successfully: “There is no big, blinking, neon light that says, ‘My boundary has been crossed.’ ”

A useful self-help system presented in a manner that’s easy to follow.

See review at https://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews//say-no-without-guilt/