Category: Inner conflict

End of Year Holding Pattern?

Typically, the last few months of the year are my slow time for readings. I generally attribute this to the fact that people tend to spend their extra time and money on holiday related purchases. However, this year, while there was a bit of a slowdown, the readings that I did give, although each unique were also tied together by a theme.

We as a nation, seem to be in unusual and unparalleled times. This shows up in a couple of ways. One of them of course is politically and while I have very definite views personally, I will not be addressing them here.

What I feel is more helpful is to speak to what I call “the general energy of the nation and what you as an individual” may be experiencing at this time. We are in a state of stagnancy. We are in a holding pattern. Almost every reading I’ve recently given has had a variation of “hold on until after the beginning of the new year!” At first, I didn’t recognize the theme and then, there it was!

Now I know we’ve been in mercury retrograde, but we exited this on December 6. Generally, mercury retrograde is a time of slowing and introspection. We look inward and it can be called a period of “quiet time.” That’s fine. What we are experiencing is a little bit different. It’s as if time itself has ground to a halt. I have taken this to mean it is a time of personal slowing and patience. A time to not only reflect but to relax. It can be hectic at this time of year and while you may still experience a frenzy of sorts as you shop and prepare for the holidays, the guidance is to find a more quiet, calm and relaxing time than you might normally seek out. I know it seems counter to the generally more revved up holidays, but I ask you to trust the wisdom of the Akashic Records.

To be more specific, here is the guidance from the masters, teachers and loved ones in the Akashic Records:

  • Become more aware of what seems to be challenging for you during this time. This may be family, holidays, work or simply wanting to move your life along and feeling stymied or stuck. It’s OK. Acknowledge the “holding pattern.”
  • Accept where you are and practice patience because this holding pattern is not likely to change until mid-January.
  • Take time to do things you’ve been putting off or things you’ve put lower on the priority list, or simply pick up a book and read. The point being, take yourself out of the hustle and bustle, each day if possible, at least for a short time.
  • You have permission to be quiet and slow down. Practice love, compassion, non-judgment and forgiveness of self as well as others.
  • Finally, reevaluate what’s truly most important to you at this time and practice compassionate firmness and say no to that which is not in direct support of your most important priority. You CAN Say No Without Guilt.

Lots of new things ahead in 2019 which is truly…just around the corner.


Four Simple Tips to Handle Inner Conflict

Sometimes the holidays feel like good news/bad news. It’s actually fairly common because the expectations during this time of year may stretch common sense and cause you to feel torn in several different directions causing inner conflict. It may feel our sound like this in your head: “Part of my feels ___________ and the other part of me feels the opposite.” Or it may come out as the good news is…and the bad news is language. Sometimes this internal unrest is just a commentary and doesn’t really present a problem. Other times it can be a BIG problem. When this kind of problem creates stagnation, frustration and indecision, it’s unlikely to go away without taking some kind of action.Young troubled businesswoman making choice between good and bad on grey brick background

There’s a wonderful NLP (neuro linguistic programming) technique to resolve this problem called a Parts Integration. A Parts Integration is neither easy nor quick and most often requires an in person visit, however it can yield profound and lasting results because it resolves the inner conflict at a very deep and unconscious level.

If you don’t need or can’t do a Parts Integration, you can still work on this yourself. Here are my tips:

1. Identify the inner conflict by stating the “good news/bad news” or what you feel conflicted about. It can also be expressed as “part of me wants to __________ because…and the other part of my wants to do something else because….”
2. Once you have identified the two conflicting aspects you can begin to weigh them. Write the cons first and then the pros. Don’t get stuck in the story of the pros and cons, simply acknowledge them (this may be a challenge so keep at it).
3. Notice and write down the feelings for the pros and the cons that arise.
4. Notice if there are any similar positive feelings on each side. This is where you’ll want to focus since this is in agreement. Stay with the good feelings because they are your motivation.

I’ll give you my own example as to how it might sound in your head.

Step 1

“Part of me can’t wait to finish my teacher’s certification in Chicago. I’ve been looking forward to completing this work so I can teach it to others because it’s so amazing. The other part of me doesn’t like the thought of traveling to Chicago where it will probably be freezing and I’ll miss my cats and my nice comfortable bed. It’s such a pain to travel.”

Step 2


I hate hotel beds.
I’ll have to eat all my meals out and that’s a challenge.
It’s a long day of traveling.
I’ll miss my home.
I don’t know what to expect.

Feelings (Step 3)

Dread, annoyance, excitement, fear of the unknown


The time will pass quickly.
I’ll be learning amazing new skills and information.
I’ll meet wonderful people.
Traveling is only a short part of the process.
I’ll be home before I know it.
It’s sort of a mini vacation.

Feelings (Step 3)

Excitement, anticipation, relief, joy, satisfaction, confidence

Step 3

Do you notice any similarities between the pros and cons? In this instance, excitement was in both “pros and cons.” When you focus on the commonalities and the positive feelings, it automatically reduces internal conflict.

If you don’t get any similarities initially, keep pondering the situation and repeat the steps. Eventually you will find some common ground. For deeper-rooted issues more advanced work may be necessary.

This is a quick exercise. It may take all of a couple of minutes to do in your head and maybe 5 minutes on paper. Isn’t it worth your time to reduce the inner conflict? The important point to remember is that you end this, or any exercise, on a positive note. The mind remembers the last sentence, thought or action that happened.