Technically the title of this writing could be two different topics – is two different topics. However, in the context of the conversation I had with my friend Kathy, it became merged into one situation. A situation wherein people communicate almost exclusively over social media (as opposed to face to face or through an actual phone conversation). This type of communication, if you can call it that, is the perfect set-up for misinformation and misunderstanding, which in today’s world now often leads to cancel culture.
If you are not actually communicating in a voice to voice, face to face dialog, how exactly can you set an appropriate boundary? It may simply become “NO” for the sake of pride, anger, resentment, misunderstanding, stubbornness and judgment. But the generation that engages in today’s cancel culture doesn’t really appear to care about boundaries, appropriate or otherwise when it comes to social media.
Let me start this off by saying like almost anything we do, there is the potential to overdo it and setting boundaries is no exception. When one sets a boundary, it should have one of two purposes: to protect oneself or to evolve and develop oneself. Cancel culture fits neither of these categories.
I’m gonna be honest with you and say I actually had to look up the definition of “cancel culture” as I sat down to right this. I was hoping it meant if I cancel my social media accounts I’ve joined the cancel culture, but alas this is not what it means.
Cancel culture, according to Wikipedia, is a modern form of ostracism in which someone is thrust out of social or professional circles – either online on social media, in the real world, or both. Those who are subject to this ostracism are said to be “canceled.” For God’s sake, in what world do we “cancel” a human being?
So, where does that leave us? In my world it’s back to square 1: appropriate boundary-setting, which I will reiterate is to keep you safe or to help you achieve a goal; two very worthy concepts. If you experience someone doing something other than this, such as with cancel culture, I think you owe it to them to set them straight. Educate them because maybe they just don’t know any better.
When I began giving readings in 2011, my protocol was to read one person at a time by opening the individual’s Akashic records and channeling the guidance and information. When I read for someone, I get a peek into a very intimate part of someone’s life, that could include their physicality, mind, emotions, and spiritual pathway. I feel privy to a very unique perspective and feel honored every time I get to engage in this special interaction.
Then the pandemic hit and a couple of months into our shelter-at-home order, I felt the yearning again. A calling to stretch and evolve in a different way. I kept intuiting that I needed to hold a call where people could ask my guides, through me, questions that would benefit my community as we sought re-entry from our shelter-in-place order. This group call was a new concept for me.
Over the years, however, I’ve yearned to evolve even more on my spiritual path. I took several trainings so I could teach others this amazing work of accessing supreme being insights. Teaching is something I love and enjoy, and still I longed for something more. I wanted another spiritual mentor and everyone I came across, while amazing in their own right, didn’t provide the evolution I was seeking. I continued to do the work I love, giving readings one person at time and teaching them this powerful work.
I eventually gave in to this insistent psychic pinging and announced the call to everyone I knew. I asked them to come to the call and ask their questions of my guides in way that could benefit many people. I opened my Akashic records and let my guides work through me, to channel the answers to the questions that were asked. It was hugely satisfying for me and helpful for those on the call. What I also realized was how simple the process was and how easily it flowed. It was truly meant to be and it was time for me to grow and evolve in way I had not anticipated. Through my guides, I had become my own mentor, the mentor I had been seeking.
On a side note, during the call, a question was asked about ‘how sustainable farming and energy might help us in the coming years.’ The answer took a few twists and turns and brought my guides to the topic of innovations. As I was relaying some of this information, I saw a picture of a weaving loom, this led me to the subject of fabric. From there, my guides added that there would be a fabric that would be germ resistant. What a fascinating thought! Two days after the call, I received an email from the woman who had asked the question. She had done some research and came across an article about the development of a fabric that was coronavirus resistant and could actually even kill coronavirus. Aside from the obvious benefits, this article was validation of the new direction for me. You see, I’d been afraid for some time to open up to this process of group channeling, but with this article, I truly felt validated with my direction.
Following is the link to the article which happened to come out two days after I held the call.
When I was young, I sometimes felt like an observer in my home. I would watch the interaction between my older sister and my parents, often with a sense of unease. Some of the interactions were contentious, some loving and some downright codependent. Watching these family interactions, I sometimes felt confused and frustrated. I wanted us to be a happy family, every child’s fantasy. For me, happiness meant avoiding conflicts at all costs, and I eventually became very good at doing this and playing the diplomat.
Looking back, I realized my family was not so different from others, except there were no boundaries in my home. For example, at thirteen, my parents let me decide where I could go, who I could go out with, and what time I could come home. I could set my curfew. What parent does that with a 13-year old? I believe my parents’ intention was for me to self-teach responsibility.
I grew up with little to no guidance, boundaries, direction, or support. When I was fifteen, my mother and father went on a European vacation, leaving me home alone. While in Scotland, my mother suffered a heart attack and died in my father’s arms. I inadvertently assumed an adult role and similar responsibility at far too young an age. Any hope of parental guidance and support was all but gone. Never having been taught boundary-setting skills, it is unsurprising I didn’t fare much better with my daughter. Of course, like my parents, I did the best I knew how.
There are many people out there who share a version of my story. Being a people pleaser is a common condition. I used to brag that I was the diplomat. But more than diplomacy, this lack of boundaries became a self-sabotaging pattern; what I call the people pleaser’s “knee-jerk” response. This response appeared in many of my relationships. I frequently felt like a doormat with family members, friends, and often the boss. I did not have any understanding of how to say “no” for fear of reprisal or not wanting to disappoint anyone. If I managed to say “no,” I felt so guilty, I would go long periods before I would repeat such a brazenly selfish act.
Interestingly, the Universe has an ironic sense of humor. It seems that the more you avoid something, the more you are destined to bump up against it. When my life partner of ten years unexpectedly died, I confronted my most deep-rooted fears about my need to set appropriate boundaries. The grieving process is extremely energy-intensive. I had to learn how to confidently say “no” and not worry about what anyone else might say or, rather, my belief about what they might say. My survival depended on setting these boundaries. I do not say this lightly as there were many times during that first year of mourning that I did not want to live. Boundary-setting truly became a matter of survival for me.
After a couple of years of practice, I became very good at confidently saying “no” and realized how empowered I felt taking this action. I felt so strongly that countless others of people pleasers needed to learn this practice instead of avoiding it. I worked over the next couple of years to compile my insights and marry them with my skill as a coach and NLP trainer into a system that I taught to others. I named it The TAILOR System(tm) – an acronym for the six-step system to boundary-setting. I use this system as the foundation in my book, Say “No” Without Guilt, Six Achievable Steps to Confidently Set and Communicate Boundaries. I continue to teach my workshop because saying “no” to others is truly about saying “yes” to yourself, the most important and empowering act of self-love.
It was Sunday, March 24th, at 6:30 a.m. I finally got up to feed my devilishly persistent cats. Their regular MO is to run around using me as a springboard in order to wake me up and get my attention. They didn’t really care that it was Sunday and that I wanted to sleep in. I slowly got up and immediately noticed the irritating burning under my chin. It felt as if I was trying to have a sore throat; you know that feeling you have right before you get sick? I ignored it and continued to the kitchen and the task of feeding the cats. Fifteen minutes later with the cats satisfied, I headed back to bed, but quickly noticed that the irritation was getting worse. In fact, it felt as if someone was taking sandpaper to the area just below my chin and down the front of my chest to the tip of my stomach.
Typically, the last few months of the year are my slow time for readings. I generally attribute this to the fact that people tend to spend their extra time and money on holiday related purchases. However, this year, while there was a bit of a slowdown, the readings that I did give, although each unique were also tied together by a theme.
We as a nation, seem to be in unusual and unparalleled times. This shows up in a couple of ways. One of them of course is politically and while I have very definite views personally, I will not be addressing them here.
The thrill is gone…oh wait, there never was any thrill. Ok folks, this is NOT actually getting any easier. I had a terrible headache today…again. I went in search of sinus meds because it seemed like it was coming from there, but who knows. What I DO know is that I miss my chicken and fish more than I can express. I am awash in disappointment and some sadness at the absence of these simple proteins from my diet. Not to mention, I can’t seem to focus. Every day I ask myself “is this worth it”? The jury is still out. Although my pain is so much less, I feel that I traded one pain for another. Sad face emoji. Why can’t I just have some chicken? I’m at the point where I don’t really want to even eat. Another sad face emoji.
Off to bed where I don’t have to think about eating or not eating.
What are the Akashic Records? The short answer is they are an energetic (vibrational) storehouse of limitless knowledge for each soul. They consist of past, present and future insight and they hold vast amounts of healing light and information. They also provide an atmosphere of unconditional love, compassion, and complete acceptance, while offering insight, clarity, and wisdom to help you evolve on your human path. You just need to learn how to ask for the information!
When I was about 7, I would go outside and lay down on the grass in the front yard of my house. I would look up at the sky and seeminglymelt into its oneness. I knew back then I was part of something bigger. I remember a tremendous sense of peace and knowing. I could lay there for hours and ponder existence. Looking back, I’m not sure what “existence” meant to a seven-year-old. I just knew I was at peace.
When I was growing up, I often felt like I needed to hear confirmation that the decisions I was making or not making, were correct, so I sought out external acknowledgment and validation from others. As I grew more confident in my judgment, I relied less on that external validation and more on my own internal wisdom. Now I rarely seek out external input, although when it occasionally does happen I see it as a growth opportunity.
The terms “internal” and “external” in this context is one of several NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) terms called Metaprograms. In short, Metaprograms are unconscious filters to process incoming information so you can utilize it in productive ways in your life or interactions with others.
I recently finished teaching another certified beginning Akashic Practitioner training, and while exhausted, it always reminds me of what I value most and how good this work is for me, my students and the planet.
At the same time, a client contacted me for advice about a challenging situation she is facing concerning her son, his children, divorce and the soon to be “ex;” a common situation in our culture.
I felt honored that she would contact me for advice as it can be challenging to witness this kind of situation and feel unable to do anything about it. Since I’d just taught the most wonderful spiritual training, my guidance to my client was simple (but by no means easy): Communicate with her family that she unfailingly holds them in a bubble of love, compassion, and inspiration, and this may mean keeping her boundaries in tact and her feelings to herself.
Very recently I’ve given several client readings with specific likely outcomes. Then I heard back from these clients, and something opposite occurred with no reasonable explanation. I even went back into my clients’ records to bring them some additional understanding (and to understand it myself!). Each time I did this, the beings told me this “upside down” experience is a result of a recent cosmic event! Blue, Red Moon maybe? The words they specifically used were it’s a “cosmic jungle out there!”
At the same time, my clients were experiencing this I was also having crazy sh*t happening. I’ve had significant plumbing issues (as in sewer, water line, and water main replacement). My computer and Fitbit went haywire; I thought my cat was down for the count (she’s fine), and I even felt challenged about my ability to provide a useful reading. It’s been a wild ride that has lasted about three weeks. The last time I saw this type of event was a few years back so thankfully it doesn’t happen very often.
If you have had strange and unusual experiences, it may be cosmic! Great, and I bet you want to know what you can do about it?
Thankfully, I work with the most wonderfully compassionate, wise and loving beings I’ve never seen. Their guidance is this:
Find your internal energetic core and strengthen it. You need to find your center of gravity so to speak. It is a place within you that is your anchor. Even when seas get rough and the wind is blowing, and the sh*t is hitting many different fans, you have an inner strength that guides your ability to respond more positively.
If meditation is your thing, do it and do it regularly. It doesn’t have to be 20-30 minutes; it can be 5 minutes as long as you find that quiet place and go there every day at the same-ish time.
Focus on allowing the divine light coming into you from above and the stability of the earth energy rising from below.
If you have a completely different practice, use it! It can be 5 minutes of sustained and strengthening breathing, or playing the piano (or another instrument) or writing or painting or doing whatever connects your heart to your body and quiets your mind. Imagine all of your internal energy centers (chakras) spinning with correct alignment and precision and trusting that they know what that means.
Connecting to your inner energetic core (anchor) with persistent and consistent practice will be the proverbial port so you can weather almost any storm.
Also, I found laughing at most of this stuff pretty useful.
By the way, I don’t know much about astrology so here’s a link to something I Googled. You can do your research. What I also know is that this event is finally passing through and things should be back to normal, unless your life isn’t “normal” to begin with. Wishing you well!