Do you ever feel like running away? I do. It’s the beginning of another year and I’m soooo glad! Right at the beginning of December I fell into the pit of depression. I was approaching the two-year anniversary of Chris’s death (I still find that hard to say), it was the beginning of holiday season and I was moving my office from outside to my home; a triple whammy. It hit me and it hit hard. I retreated and spent a lot of days on the couch in between clients. There were a couple of weekends I never made it out of the house and it was OK. I sat literally waiting for the days to pass. And pass they did.
After 5 weeks of building my protective internal sanctuary of survival, I finally emerged. Just a little at first and now I’m almost fully reintegrated back into the community after this last grieving cycle. I even went to a networking meeting recently, a big leap forward for me and sign of my rebirth. It is almost Spring!
We are cyclical by nature and it is most important to honor our cycles rather than circumvent or even attempt to eliminate them. I honor my cycles of self-healing I because I love myself. That wasn’t always true.
Why did I start off my blog with a kind of “downer” story rather than a “how wonderful life is” story? First, because it’s genuine: I rediscover a new part of “me” and where it fits into my new life every time I go into the cave and then re-emerge. It’s really quite a wonder for me. I never know who is going to emerge and how I will feel. No I don’t have multiple personality disorder just recovering and reconciling through the grieving process. I bet you can relate on some level.
The second reason I told this story is to illustrate what it may mean to Take Charge of one’s life and since this is what I teach I certainly want to be a role model for others. Taking charge of your life may mean many things or just one thing at time and of course it may evolve over time. Here is what I teach as a foundation to learning how to Take Charge of your life.
Taking charge means:
- Noticing and identifying the symptoms that are causing problems, unresourceful or even bad behavior.
- Setting healthy and loving personal boundaries to enforce emotional, mental, physical and spiritual safety.
- Knowing and believing that self-care and self-healing are healthy as long as they don’t hurt anyone else in the process.
- Honoring intuition.
- Being with the process (or riding the waves of the storm) instead of working so hard to go around it or deny it even exists.
- Emerging stronger on the other side.
- Feeling ready to forge ahead.
When I do all the above work the results are loving, encouraging, empowering, engaging, hopeful, spiritual, and supportive among other positive outcomes.
When you go through tough times in your life and you feel like running away, I hope you’ll remember these thoughts and actions and that they might even sustain you as you ride out the storm.